|Volume 47, Number 47
Motion Picture Company Hard At Work In Area
A film crew has checked into a room at Skillet Lake Resort, and has begun production of what is being described as a "specialty feature". The movie makers are shooting on a "closed set", but the film is believed to involve a matinee idol, an ingenue, and a feral goat. "We can hear them shouting encouragement to one another at all hours!", Manager Wally Watt says.
Profitable Days Ahead For Local Firm
Streamlined operations, soon to be announced at the Torpor Talc Plant in Farley, will cause a substantial jump in The Company's stock price. Speaking anonymously, CFO Bland Bayard says he's holding off on saying anything publicly, because "we always like to give executives inside the organization first crack at this kind of thing." He couldn't confirm if any employees will be losing their jobs, but said most workers will be let go.
Q: Sometimes I hear screams coming from the home of Mr. and Mrs. Lark Hawborn of 2686 Drainage Drive, Corco. I have also noticed that their windows are painted over, and they have a big dog. - Teeley Wilburn, Kelp Hill.
A: Great Question! It's quite common to say "their", when you mean to say "there". But with a little patience and practice, you won't have to paint over bad grammar!
Q: How did "Old Tree Lane" get its name? - Lam Hamilton, Ambleton.
A: Historians say it probably had something to do with an old tree that was located their, or possibly nearby.
My Best Post accepts all questions at a rate of $45.00 for each received. Every attempt will be made to answer.
Food, Medicine Tax To Fund Statue
The Corco City Council has approved without debate, plans for a 28-million dollar likeness of music legend Slim "Fats" Richard.
"It'll be almost like he's back here in person!", Mayor Jesse Jenson ejaculated. The entertainer visited in 1997, and had spare ribs and pecan pie at The Corco Inn before dying that night. Jenson's wife will fashion the aluminum and canvas tribute, which is expected to take several weeks to realize.
Surprise Fete Planned For Kelp Hill Woman
Friends and neighbors are secretly putting together a birthday bash for the widow of Kelp Hill felon Wally Links. "It's going to be a complete shock to her!", shrieked one reveler-to-be. Opinion polls connected her husband to a series of area crimes last year. "The margin for error in these things is statistically very small,", according to Bill Henner, owner of Bob's Research Associates. "Say what you want, the numbers just don't lie". At the party, Mrs. Links will be surprised by the gift of a new mattress with a flame-proof cover.
A recent edition of My Best Post mistakenly reported that Mr. Dorn Donaldson of 1228 Circle Canyon, was missing and probably had stolen something. We have since learned that he was thrown from a horse while attempting to cross Urine Creek, and had to be destroyed.
Quad Miller of Ambelton was puzzled when a well on his property suddenly stopped producing. Upon investigation, he discovered a human torso, and figured he better get it out of their before it putrefied, and fouled the entire water table!!!
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Copyright 2010 Ken Kramer