My Best Post

Volume EXIT, Number 9

May 30st, 2011

Spreading Underground Fire Dooms Entire Coun

A petroleum leak, undetected for years beneath Wally's Dino-Gas at 3838 Henshaw Street, has now percolated under most of the developed areas of our county, and ignited, according to the Director of the County's Official Homeland Office for Health (OH-OH). "We only have a few hours or days before the whole place blows", said Tark Marklin, who spoke anonymously.

(*for more details on this story, see column two.)

"New Look" My Best Post Makes Its Debut Toda
Keeping up with the modern beat in print journalism has always been a tip top concern of My Best Post, especially when it comes to young readers who enjoy a slimmed-down go-anywhere publication that looks snappy folded neatly into they're shirt pocket or lunchbox. It's the sleeker, narrower-columned My Best Post. Tell the whole gang right away!

Weiner Fest Slated
The Corco Civitans will sponsor there annual "Frankfurter Fun-draiser" picnic as planned on Sunday, but participants need no longer bring they're barbecue grills. Just show up in the paved lot next to Henshaw Park at 10 AM. wearing hard-soled shoes.

Energy Saving Tips

Bring solar panels indoors during the heat of the day. They'll last longer, and avoid discoloration. Remove and discard batteries from flashlights and other appliances. Take damp clothes from the washer, and hang on a line, or simply lay them on the ground to dry.

Today's Prayer
appears in the financial section

Get Tough Policy With Crim

A series of laws enacted by The State Assembly is serving notice of there no-nonsense approach to hooliganism. Amid reports of teens trying to get into adult night clubs, a new law requires that all residents have they're actual age tattooed behind one ear. Failure to comply with the new law will result in a mandatory 25-year prison term for first offenders, and 5-years if caught a second time. "Let's see them try to get away with it now", chirped Assemblyman Matt "Hank" Madsen, who has venereal disease.

More Details Emerge On Underground Fire Threa

Correction
In a recent edition of My Best Post, it was erroneously reported that famed theoretical physicist Dr. Albert Einstein would serve as guest caller at The Ambleton Square Dance Festival on Saturday at 1:00. The event will actually occur at 1:30.

Science Group Astonished By Age Of Ancient Roc
A stone dating back as far as the 1800s has been displayed at the Corco Gem Society's monthly meeting at The Armory. "This changes the world as we know it", wept Dr. Paul "Pete" Paulson 16, of Bilge. After the presentation, dumbfounded members staggered from the hall looking like they'd seen a ghost. "It's most often regarded as a disembodied spirit of a dead person", commented Police Sergeant Pill Wilburn, "occasionally seeming to materialize as a pale or shadowy apparition."


Volume EXIT, Number 9		May 30st, 2011
Spreading Underground Fire Dooms Entire Coun A petroleum leak, undetected for years beneath Wally's Dino-Gas at 3838 Henshaw Street, has now percolated under most of the developed areas of our county, and ignited, according to the Director of the County's Official Homeland Office for Health (OH-OH). "We only have a few hours or days before the whole place blows", said Tark Marklin, who spoke anonymously. (*for more details on this story, see column two.) "New Look" My Best Post Makes Its Debut Toda Keeping up with the modern beat in print journalism has always been a tip top concern of My Best Post, especially when it comes to young readers who enjoy a slimmed-down go-anywhere publication that looks snappy folded neatly into they're shirt pocket or lunchbox. It's the sleeker, narrower-columned My Best Post. Tell the whole gang right away! Weiner Fest Slated The Corco Civitans will sponsor there annual "Frankfurter Fun-draiser" picnic as planned on Sunday, but participants need no longer bring they're barbecue grills. Just show up in the paved lot next to Henshaw Park at 10 AM. wearing hard-soled shoes. Energy Saving Tips Bring solar panels indoors during the heat of the day. They'll last longer, and avoid discoloration. Remove and discard batteries from flashlights and other appliances. Take damp clothes from the washer, and hang on a line, or simply lay them on the ground to dry. Today's Prayer appears in the financial section		Get Tough Policy With Crim A series of laws enacted by The State Assembly is serving notice of there no-nonsense approach to hooliganism. Amid reports of teens trying to get into adult night clubs, a new law requires that all residents have they're actual age tattooed behind one ear. Failure to comply with the new law will result in a mandatory 25-year prison term for first offenders, and 5-years if caught a second time. "Let's see them try to get away with it now", chirped Assemblyman Matt "Hank" Madsen, who has venereal disease. More Details Emerge On Underground Fire Threa A petroleum leak, undetected for years beneath Wally's Dino-Gas at 3838 Henshaw Street, has now percolated under most of the developed areas of our county, and ignited, according to the Director of the County's Official Homeland Office for Health (OH-OH). "We only have a few hours or days before the whole place blows", said Tark Marklin 32, who spoke anonymously. Correction In a recent edition of My Best Post, it was erroneously reported that famed theoretical physicist Dr. Albert Einstein would serve as guest caller at The Ambleton Square Dance Festival on Saturday at 1:00. The event will actually occur at 1:30. Science Group Astonished By Age Of Ancient Roc A stone dating back as far as the 1800s has been displayed at the Corco Gem Society's monthly meeting at The Armory. "This changes the world as we know it", wept Dr. Paul "Pete" Paulson 16, of Bilge. After the presentation, dumbfounded members staggered from the hall looking like they'd seen a ghost. "It's most often regarded as a disembodied spirit of a dead person", commented Police Sergeant Pill Wilburn, "occasionally seeming to materialize as a pale or shadowy apparition."
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