Still Not Too Late For Early Birds To Be On Time
Corco's popular annual "house tour" has been set for Tuesday. Attendees should meet at the home of Mrs. Barbara Flaeux (pronounced Bar-bruh), and are advised to dress warmly, as the windows will be open.
Dismay Takes Much Needed Holiday At Bake Fete
The Tri-County cake walk will go down as a huge success, as anyone who was there would attest under oath, should they ever be called upon to do so in a court of law, before a judge, a magistrate or some other judicial officer, or during a deposition, which could be an important procedure in determining the basis for a settlement of some sort.
Police To Take Free Photos
Everyone attending this year's Corco Days celebration will have their picture taken by law enforcement officers. "We'll keep a copy at no charge, and the person being photographed can buy one for $8.00", explained Sergeant Pill Wilburn, "so it's a win-win for everybody". Also, residents are reminded to turn in their cash and receive a free chew toy, courtesy of merchants at the Ambleton Ani-Mall.
"Crinkled Moon" is yet another tale of tortured obsession from uber-hammy Pram Philborn. A wanna-be psychological thriller, that suffers from slack directing, absence of subplot, and an inexplicable distortion of the soundtrack, which renders the entire dialogue largely inaudible. Save your money. This "Crinkled Moon" is accompanied by only half of one star, as it rises in full eclipse.
-Milkie Manor, 37, is a citizen contributor to My Best Post, who likes to spend his free time going to movies with other old people.
Lives On Yet
Dr. Lack Tachbourne, of 1223865 Canyon Vista Glen Terrace Circle Drive is a popular writer, and his work is enjoyed, even by the elderly, who are said to be happy that he has not passed away as earlier reported. Tachbourne was scheduled to be featured speaker at the popular Corco Topics Forum on Thursday last. "What happened was the result of a lamentable miscommunication and because of that", said Forum Chairman Duke "Duke" Henshaw. While introducing the famed booksmith, Henshaw exclaimed: "He's headed to the stage, and has arrived!", but was widely understood to be saying: "He's dead at the age of thirty five." "I was real surprised to see everybody get up, and start walking out of their with the long face.", Henshaw mourned. Meantime, the Tachbourne Family has received several kind messages, some including cash, which will be used to buy a flat screen and some juice boxes.
A recent advertisement appearing in My Best Post, mistakenly announced that all those opening accounts at Second Bank Of Corco would receive an end to taxes. It should have read that new account holders would receive its popular "unending tasks," perpetual calendar.
Hearing Loss Prompts Call For Louder Car Horns
Responding to Health Department reports of widespread deafness caused by the rising din of automobile horns, Assemblyman Matt "Hank" Madsen says it's time to "turn up the volume". "We obviously need a new generation of louder horns", he observed. "It's gotten to the point where you can hardly hear them anymore". Horn honking has increasingly been used on the street as a greeting among friends, a warning to enemies, or as an expression of general dissatisfaction. "Everyone has a right to be heard,", he concluded., "It's our freedom that's at stake".
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