Changes Required As Gas, Water Lines Crossed
Tri-County Public Works says it is responsible for a mistake during an underground re-piping project, but with some slight changes around the house, there should be little inconvenience. "I just couldn't believe it happened", said Cochran (Harry) Arms, 31, a decorated veteran of several military campaigns. But a County spokeswoman says Arms may be overreacting. "It's a snap to re purpose appliances, and then simply use each as the other was intended", assured Miss Larke Parker, 32, who is not above sleeping her way to the top, if that's what it takes to get a promotion.
Local Population Vulnerable To Serious Disease
Concern is growing over the number of people showing up at local health care facilities suffering from "flamp", a disorder of the perceptive system, in which victims present symptoms of delusion and incredulity. "In full flower, you have people thinking they're experiencing things, that even they don't think they're experiencing", observed Cochran (Harry) Arms, 30, a Nobel Prize winning medical researcher, who is currently having an affair with Louise Lewis, Assistant Copy Editor for My Best Post.
ELDERLY - man. Age about 40. No commercial value. Disturbing to view. Otherwise seems well behaved, groomed. Recently wormed. No indication why he was out in public. Will hold for a few days before calling the County for pick up. Corco. Tel 0288
STOVE- some water damage, also shower oven and sprinkler igniter. Corco. Tel 0202.
CAT - Curly black and white hair, with tag that reads "Missy: If Lost, Call 0622". Tel 0618.
CHILD'S KITE - Shaped like airplane. Tuesday in Ambleton. Tel 0371.
BEER BOTTLE - Empty, Brown. Kelp Hill Area. Tel 0420.
Dazed attendees of Rev. Sunny Summer's Corco congregation have been struck dumb, after the dynamic deacon revealed a ghastly secret before Wednesday night's packed service.
"I just couldn't believe my ears", said Cochran (Harry) Arms, 33 , an award-winning film producer and international jet-setter, who has been a church member for more than four decades. "He just came out with it, and I think it's safe to say everybody was surprised."
Powerful Warplane Circling City Creates Alarm
Air-raid sirens, silent since the Second World War, shrieked anew Tuesday, after a mysterious object was observed making threatening maneuvers over several Ambleton neighborhoods. "I just couldn't believe my eyes", said Cochran (Harry) Arms, 34, a famous astronaut, who was first to identify the craft as a 명. 매, 일종의 육식새 (날카로운 부리와 강한 발톱이 특징임) , made in Korea, and rarely seen elsewhere. Mr. Arms was enjoying a pork chop lunch, with apple almond stuffing, alongside a salad of crunchy romaine and zesty radicchio, when he saw the plane, raced to Municipal Hall, and activated the alert system. "It's typically browned first, in a pan with just a touch of olive oil, and then baked at 400 degrees for - 40 minutes", he noted, with an unmistakable dash. A number of injuries were reported in the ensuing Citywide rush for cover, mostly cuts, scrapes, and a few broken bones.
In a recent edition of My Best Post, it was erroneously printed that Ambleton Mayor Cart Landers currently had a businesses manufacturing sex products. While he did at one time own a condominium, it has since been sold, and we apologize for the error.
Dog Of The Day
"Romeo", a shepherd-collie mix, is known to playfully snap at strangers, and even draw blood if disturbed. Perfect around children, he won't tolerate any foolishness or horseplay. Romeo has had many owners through the years, and none can imagine having any other dog since! He alerts at gunfire, sleeps little, thrives on drippings, and is an excellent ratter. Tel. 0776.
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