My Best Post
Volume MIX,  Number 6
August 8rd, 2010
"Honk Horn!", Solon Urges
Assemblyman Matt "Hank" Madsen is asking all motorists to sound their automobile horns whilst driving on Wednesday next. But when questioned, was unable to provide any reason why they should do so, and is thought to be abusing some kind of deliriant.

Budget Cuts Prompt Austerity Move   
In an effort to limit costs, The Ambleton City Board has eliminated the position of Public Relati
Tax Hike Ahead As City Loses Lawsuit
Residents will be billed 4.7 million dollars, after a claim against The City Of Ambleton was upheld in District Court Friday. The settlement permits no public disclosure of the age or sex of the 45-year old woman who filed the charges. It also prohibits any identification of Vanette Vandemanor, of 3356 Canyon Cliff Road, who alleged that Assistant City Attorney Lonnie Loggins had repeatedly toyed with her values. Speaking anonymously, Loggins told My Best Post, "I never touched her values."

Area Obituaries

  Roger "Cal" Hallman, 86. Lifelong used mattress salesman. Created the advertising slogan..."Come see me now, or I'll see you in the spring." Donations in memory of the deceased may be sent c/o his s/o,  Mrs. Wally Links of Kelp Hill.

Stank:  Jan Stank, 79, of Ambleton. Physics teacher, who was probably in the CIA or something. You could just tell by the way he was so secretive. Mr. Stank's remains were incinerated in a private ceremony Tuesday forenoon. 

Trunt:  Mabel "Tiny" Trunt, 93 of Corco. After a flat roller incident, became diminutive advocate for the rights of all. Known for her ever-present entrails satchel, she dined with President Truman in 1951. "...and hardly ate a thing", the Chief Executive later recalled.

*Vital Statistics are printed as a public service by My Best Post, on a "stand by" basis, to MBP Club members, who have accumulated at least 1700 reward points.

My Best Post To Acquire Cable TV
In what's being described as a "win-win" for news consumers, Torpor Communications, the parent company of  My Best Post, is buying Tri-County Cable, which, along with its ownership of the KMBP broadcast stations, will make it the sole distributor of information in the area. "There are things we'll be able to do now, owing to our sheer size, and because of that.", according to Duke "Duke" Henshaw, The Company's Vice President for Corporate Control.

Man Seeks Aquatic Distinction
To celebrate his 80th birthday, Richard "Pete" Richmond of Corco entered the waters of Skillet Lake Reservoir Saturday morning, and with a wave to friends, sank beneath the surface, beginning a sensational attempt to claim a new all-time record for a human being holding their breath.  


A recent edition of My Best Post reported that a total solar eclipse would be visible throughout the area at noon on Tuesday last. We regret any inconvenience caused, and are reminded anew, that forecasting such events is, of course, not an exact science.

For A Better You
Hurry to register for instructional improvement sessions at Corco Community College! Dean Del Decker advises Tri-County residents, "Don't wait too long, because all of our classes are already filled."

Guest Editorial
My Best Post encourages a diverse mix of viewpoints, and believes we are made a stronger community thereby, and because of that.

Dear Editor,
Let me begin by complimenting your publication for its fair and thorough coverage of local issues. I have lived in the area for nearly 40-years, and in that time, your paper has been "must reading" in our house. However,
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